If only i could take away all you pain, all your depression, it's like your dying inside and i cant loss another parent. You face is so full of death and silence wen you come home, your frail body can barely move across the carpet to your only vacation spot your room. If only i could take care of you like you have me for 19 years, these past few years have been harder then people think and we dont let them know, i only wish i could do more. I hate feeling like i cant do anymore because i know i cant. Everytime i see you i miss him more, he didnt leave us wanting you to be depressed and not being able to stand the next morning after you but your heavy head to rest at night. I know if he could have he would have stayed. You've done everything you can for me and Zach, even though we are more like sisters and i hate it sometimes and we have our differences i will always love you Mom. Tonight just watching you freak out saying you cant do it anymore you just want out you just want someone to take care of you and you dont know how much longer you can do this brought us both to tears. I know i do as much as i can you always tell me that, but i will more one day, one day i will take care of you. I cant describe all the pain and crap thats going on in life right now, but i do know that we have to be strong, you can get through this ,you and dad taught me never to give up, never to change for anyone, never show your pain or give into it. You can do it. Your a strong, beautiful, amazing, women ask anyone who knows you. You boss is a jerk and thats that. I love you so much mom.